So my wife over the years became less and less interested in oral both giving and receiving. Of course I love to give and receive and it is kind of a big deal to me. So the other night i made a comment about licking and it blew up into a huge argument about Oral sex and why she will not do it anymore. We left the argument open with her really saying nothing more than she just does not like to do it. Would not cite specifics or anything just left it at that. Of course I am kind of upset and say well is it OK if I get them elsewhere then if you will not do it (Yes I know NOT the right thing to do but I was pissed off about the lack of conversation) So this now has been 6 days with nothing else said and cutoff completely from physical interaction at all.

I should mention we do have sex quite a bit but No oral. So should I make a huge deal out of this and press on or should I just be happy we are still physical in nature and move on. I am highly sexual and this is kind of a big deal to me the fact that she says she does not like it kind of makes me feel it is about me in some way.

 

I'd say you fucked up.
Move on.
You can't change what people like and enjoy , especially with that attitude.

(you are the one making it "about you")

 

Ya most likely the wrong thing to say. I used to get a nice bj 1 to 2x's a week. That was about 8 years ago!

I compromised and paid $30 for a synthetic mouth on adamevedotcom.....no "im tired", "dont cum in my mouth", and "is that all you think about" anymore for me....just a couple dribbles of lube and im im! Haha

 

No fuck that!!! She is really going to cut you off and not tlk to you because you have a sexual desire you are trying to discuss with your wife about? Of course out of anger you lashed out asking if someone else could give you that. Cause it was hurtful to you that your own spouse would not even consider this being something you would love to enjoy the pleasure of getting.

I am sorry i just have different views on this. If you do not try to keep your man satisfied sexually then there are many others that would love to.

It is part of your duty as a wife to try to give you pleasure. To try to make you happy in other ways as well. Marriage and relationships should be about working together to keep each other happy.

Look my spouse does not even do half the things i need or want in general. But no damn way i would hold sex over his head. Like dangling steak over a starving dogs mouth.... you want this?? Do you?? How bad show me?? How dare you want a blow job!!!! I feel like it should be written in the vows.....i promise to try my hardest to please you sexually and keep you satisfied. Lol

 

Explain to her that it means alot to you and it’s really nice to kick back and receive such a nice thing from her and it makes u feel appreciated? That got me temporarily back in the loop until we divorced lol.

 

Some people just do not enjoy some things. They can force themselves or allow other people to force them into doing something they do not like but one day they will have enough. Think about something you do not like then think how you would feel if your wife demands you keep doing the one thing you hate.

 

Your wife is being really childish by not providing an actual explanation. I think you mentioned before that you've gone down on her. Are you satisfied with that? Don't you feel that it is selfish to enjoy that and not reciprocate? The both of you should find a compromise or go your separate ways because that isn't healthy for either of you.

 

There are only two reasons a person will put a cock in their mouth, excluding getting paid. First, is they like it. Second, it makes their partner happy. It looks like you've lost on both counts.

When a woman says "I don't want to and I don't have to" what's really going on is, you've done something to piss her off. It's not so big a deal that she'll dump your clothes in the yard and set them on fire, but it is big enough to deny you something you like.

You're in a no win situation.

 

Look there are always 2 sides to a story I am just asking to hear hers which she will not let out. So until she does we are apparently at a stalemate because I can no longer just ignore this situation without some sort of resolution. If she does not like to blow me anymore and she knows it really pleases me I take it as she no longer cares if she pleases me at all that is just my interpretation. I am sure she has issues with me but without open and honest dialogue how would I ever know.

 

To me, if there is no real explanation behind it, and she just shuts down and won’t discuss it....then this is just the tip if the iceberg. There are hidden issues beneath the surface, and this is just how she is manifesting anger for those issues. She takes away something she knows you enjoy, and can hurt you with. Something else is going on. There is a much deeper rooted problem than just, i dont like it. Until you find the actual problem, you are in for it bro.... i know because this is kind of the exact scenario that happened to me. And then i came home from work one day, the wife was packing her bags, said i fucking hate you and left. No explanation.

 

This is what "irreconcileable differences" means. Without communication your marriage will crumble and if you threaten divorce you'll probably find she's already preparing for it.

Don't make the conversation about BJs--make it about honesty, sharing & communication. Maybe suggest--in writing--you get counseling together.
Even if it goes nowhere it'll sound good later in court.

 

Quit while your ahead, if she can't give you an answer or communicate she's done with you. Sucking dick is a prerequisite for marriage if it's not happening its the big D time!

 

I'd happily suck it for you bro, like a pro! Every single inch of it

 

Not the most sensible response, granted, but still a genuine offer

 

Are you on kik? Message me here if you fancy chatting

 

I don't know man it kind of sounds like she might have a side piece.

 

You're not going to hear her side of the story by asking questions here.

The other part, about her wanting to please you, you got that right. It's time to ask the question, "If you knew that things would never change for the better, what would you do?" Simple enough. If you can live with it, as it is, start doing that today. If you can't, start making plans to separate. You might find something better, or you might be alone. Whatever happens, you don't have to stay with someone who doesn't care how you feel.

 

Sorry man, that sucks to deal with.

 

Thank you all for comments and suggestions. This may seem like an odd place to post things of this nature but honestly this group will respond honestly and does have sound advice through personal experience. You filter out what works for you and try a few new things and see where it leads you.

 

I think it was my mother that said... If you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all (she was an illiterate immigrant, excuse her English). Against her advice...

This situation sucks (someone would of eventually said that). The worst for me, would be, how long has she been doing something so personal and intimate, whilst struggling with whatever degree of repulsion..?! I would be disgusted and horrified by that fact alone. I would have a problem of proportions that would almost certainly result in dividing the furniture with a chainsaw.

Single by design..